Rebirth
by MeganRose007
Summary: When bella's life seems to be going right for once, something happens that turns it all upside down. She is threatened with losing everything.The answer is obvious to everyone, but will Edward decide to go through with it? read and review please :D
1. Tables Turned

It was only when Bella switched on her bedroom light she knew something was wrong

**Chapter 1**

It was only when I switched on my bedroom light I knew something was

wrong. I stood in my doorway, thinking what it could be. As I grew more and

more anxious I heard a floor board creek behind me.

"Hello" said the mysterious, sweet voice. I knew who it was, the one person in the

world I cared about, the one person I would die for, my world.

"Hey" I replied, trying to sound as peaceful as his voice did, but failing. He was

perfect. In his arms I felt like I was in a dream, and that nothing could be wrong.

It was only when I turned around to face him that I realised that it could be.

"Oh my god, Edward, what's happened!?" I said with a voice full of worry and

concern. He may be a vampire that can't die, but I still worried about him as if he

was an expensive piece of crystal that I was afraid that if I dropped it, it would

smash into a thousand pieces.

Edward looked reassuringly into my eyes, trying to calm my frantic heart that he

could hear beating harder than ever.

"There are some young vampires. Some of Victoria's creations mustn't have come

along when they attacked last. They were down in La Push. Bella don't worry, we

have it under control, there's no need for you to be concerned…"

"No need for me to be concerned!?" I said with a voice that would have worried

anyone…anyone apart from Edward. He knew me too well; he knew what to say to

calm me down.

"Edward there is every need for me to be concerned. You've fought them before, but

you've never come back after a fight with scratches down your face." As I said this,

I reached out my hand and lightly traced the wounds running down his face,

cracking his marble features.

"They will heal. You seem to forget that I don't feel pain. They are controllable, it's

just that we weren't ready for them." he said with a voice full of assurance.

"Why are they here?" I asked him in a whisper. Tears filled my eyes with concern.

The last time they were here, they're goal was to kill me. What if that's what they

were here for this time?

It was as if Edward could read my mind.

"Bella, They're not here for you…even if they were they wouldn't be able to get within

a 100 ft of you. Not because of my family protecting you. Not because of the wolves

looking out for you. But because Im here. If I could, I would die for you. A million

times over. You are my life, my world…No you are more than my world, you are my

universe. You see Bella, if anything happened to you I could not live…and I think

incidents that have happened before prove this. I love you, and Im never going to let

you get hurt."

He threw his arms around me and held me tightly against his marble chest. I cried.

But not worrying tears. But tears of joy. Why do I have him in my life? I don't

deserve him! He was perfect, and I am just a small town girl.

But I won't let him come to any harm, even if he can't feel it. I love him

too much.

A look of panic must have been easy to read by my expression, because when I

looked up from his chest, Edward was just staring at me.

"Bella, I mean it. I don't want you to worry about this. We've handled more serious

situations than this. There is absolutely no need for you to be concerned. Please trust

me on this." He managed to say this with reassurance, though I could tell from the

fear in his eyes that the situation was as bad as I had imagined it. But I wanted him to

feel happier.

"I do trust you. If you say there's no need for me to worry, then I believe you. But

will you promise me something?" I asked him.

"Anything you want" he whispered sweetly in my ear.

I placed my hands on his chest to push him back a bit so I could look him in the eye. I

got perfect eye contact, so he knew I was being serious.

"Promise me that if it gets any worse or if there is any change to it, even the smallest

thing…that you will tell me. Or else I'm just going to have to find out for myself

what's going on"

I knew the last bit was a risky thing for me to say. As I suspected, he growled huskily

under his breath.

"If anything happens, anything, then ill let you know straight away. Bella you are

foolish. I couldn't hide anything from you anyway. That was a waste of a promise if

you ask me."

He smiled his crooked smile, and my heart melted.

"You did it again" I said weakly.

"What...Oh, did I dazzle you?" he replied with a voice that contained a hint of

confusion, but also glee and smugness.

I leaned forward and had to go on tip-toe…..and rested my lips against his. When he

kissed me, I felt exactly the same as I did the first time he did. My head begin to spin

and I began to feel dizzy. He pulled back and could tell from the look on my face that

I had been 'dazzled'. He scooped me up in his strong arms and laid me down on the

bed. I closed my eyes. When I opened them his face was less than an inch away from

mine. He was lying down next to me, staring at me. He was so still that he could have

been mistake for a manikin. He closed his eyes and held my hand softly. This must

have been what heaven was like, nothing can be better than this.

It felt like we had been lying there for hours, but in reality it was only a few minutes

when Edward suddenly slammed his eyes open and sprung up off the bed. He looked

round at me, and I could tell from the look on his face that something was seriously wrong.

"Stay here" he commanded me.

"What's happening? Edward, what's wrong?" I asked. He didn't answer me, he just

walked calmly out of my room. I know he was only walking slowly not to alarm me,

but I heard him out on my gravel drive way not a second later. The thought crossed

my mind to get up to my window and see what was going on, and I put a foot down

towards the floor. When my toes reached my floor boards I heard his voice in my

head, just like I had done when he left me. He sounded so realistic. It wasn't me

simply remembering what he had told me, but as if he was there.

"Don't move, it's not safe. Wait here for me"

He sounded so peaceful, but I remembered I only heard him in my head when my life

was in danger. A wave of fear shook through my body. My eyes locked upon my

bedroom door, praying to see him walk through it any second now in the majestic

manor that he manages to do it in without effort. But he didn't. Once again, it felt like

hours. Where was he? He wouldn't just leave like that…something was wrong. I

knew I could fight him in my head…I had done before. I tried again. When my foot

hit the floor, this time he said something more concerning.

"Bella if you move you're putting both our lives at risk. Just stay there." I ignored him

and put my other foot on the floor. I could hear a growl growing louder in my head. I

took a step towards my window. He was outside, if I could just see what he was doing

than I could feel calmer. The growling continued until I got to the window. I stretched

out an arm and grabbed hold to the edge of my curtains.

"BELLA!"

As I heard him shout, I pulled the curtains back.

My eyes immediately focused on him, not what was happening around him. He was

standing there, looking like a God. It was only when I looked at him properly I

noticed something was wrong. His clothes had been torn; he was covered in hundreds

of wounds, some looking deep. He looked tired, and was simply staring at the floor.

I gasped. What had happened?

"Edward" I said under my voice, so quietly that if Charlie was standing in my door

way he wouldn't have been able to hear it.

But not Edward.

His face suddenly turned upwards and his gaze met mine. His face was something I

had never seen; it was full of fear, of concern. He just stared at me, not doing

anything. His eyes said enough. The voice in my head had stopped talking. Maybe

because it was wrong to tell me to stay where I was, or maybe because it was too late

to do anything else. His eyes were full of urgency. As if I didn't already know, something was

wrong and I knew he was trying to tell me what to do, but I was frozen and only concentrating on

him. I whipped my head round to face my room…I heard a scuttling noise. Maybe it was just in my

head. When I looked back out of my window Edward wasn't standing where he was before. Horror

raced through my body. All of a sudden I heard him growl and I knew he was alright. But I still

couldn't see him. I heard a scuttling noise again, but I pushed it to the back of my mind, I was

already pre-occupied. It was only when I heard it louder that I felt like I was being watched. I turned

round and standing in the corner of my room was something id only seen once before in my life. A

new born. Instead of my heart beginning to race, it felt like it stopped. My breathing calmed and I

just stood there, staring. Outside I could still heard Edwards growl…or maybe it was in my head?

One way or another, it sounded miles away. The new born had a look of determination in his eye,

and I began to accept my fate. If I hadn't been hanging round with vampires for the last 2 years, this

situation would have bothered me more. But I was still paralysed with fear. The new born smiled at

me, and his teeth shone in the moonlight that was running I through the crack in my curtains. It was

only when he took a step towards me that I regained control of my body. I let out a scream. A

scream unlike anything I've ever done or heard before. The new born charged towards me and it was

all over quickly.

In that split second, a lot happened and I can remember it all very clearly. My bedroom door burst

open and Jasper came bursting in. He 'ran' over to where the new born was, which is now about a

centre metre away from my neck. Jasper grabbed hold of him and threw him against my bedroom

wall, before picking him up again and throwing him out of my bedroom door. Before Jasper left to

go finish him off, he turned around and smiled at me and gave me a wink. It was then I knew that

Edward wasn't lying and that everything was under control. Suddenly I felt a great restraint around

my waist and I immediately thought it was another new born that had come back to finish me off. Then it felt like another one had hold of me. Now there were too iron grips around me. I closed my eyes and let out another scream. I felt something cold press against me and I knew instantly what it was.

Edward.

I opened my eyes and we were standing out on my driveway.

"I asked you to stay where I left you" he said at me, looking up towards my window. I knew he was

either angry or worried. Which on yet, I couldn't tell. But I knew I could find out.

"oh c'mon, I needed to know what was happening" I said with a hint of anger in my voice, but not

enough for it to be a concern for him. He reached up his hand and held my chin and pulled my face

closer to his. He lightly pressed his lips to mine. I twined my hands into his hair in an attempt to hold

him there for even a second longer, but my strength was no match for his.

"Bella im so sorry" he said to me. He was looking me straight in the eye. My stomach began to knot

and I felt panicked. The last time id felt like this was in the forest last year when he left me. I wasn't

ready for him to even think of doing it again. I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face

into his shoulders.

"Bella, what's wrong? Everything is okay now. There is no need for you to be upset." He said to me.

I could tell he was worried about me, about my mental state. I then soon realised that he wasn't

realised me and that I had made a fool of myself. I lifted my face and took in a deep breath to calm

my nerves.

"I love you so much" I whispered in his ear. If I died right now, not 10 minutes ago then I would be

happy.

"Do I need to answer to that or is it obvious enough how I feel?" he said with an over whelming

tone.

"Please answer" mumbled again as I buried my face into his neck again. He pushed me away from

him and took my face in hi hands.

"Bella for me to say I love you is wrong"

Tears filled my eyes. I stared down to the ground, but he pulled my face back up to meet his gaze.

"The reason its wrong is because it's an understatement. 'I love you' isn't worthy enough to explain

how I feel. Without you there is no life, there is no hope, no love. Without you there are no stars, no

moon, no sun, and no warm summer breeze. Bella without you my world is black. Actually there is

no world. Without you there is nothing. So you see, I can say I love you, but there is so much more

beneath it. I need you."

His face staring at mine was the last thing I saw. My heart melted and my eyes closed. And there he

went, dazzling me again to a point where I found it necessary to pass out into the arms of an angel on

earth.


	2. Close endings and realisation

When i opened my eyes it was dark, but the soon was rising in the distance. I must have passed out from more than Edwards sweet words, but from the shock of the incidents that happend in the hour before. I looked over at the clock, it said it was half 6. i heard some movement over in the corner of the room. my immediate reaction was to hide under my covers. my mind immedietly thought it was another new born and i didnt know where edward was, so id have to save myself...by hiding under the covers. Just when i thought the noises had subsided, they came back again. an uneasy shifting, how perculiar. who was i to doubt the vampire world and what they do? i giggled in my head at the situation i was in; there was a crazy blood-driven vampire in my room that wants to savage me and here i am hiding under my covers mouthing under my breath the name of the one person i wanted to be here. suddenly the shifting got closer to my bed, but it had a sense of unease in it. i came to a conclusion in my head that the new born was unsure whether i was actually here or not...but id stopped worrying about losing my own life now; what about charlie? he was only down the corridor.

_oh crap bella, now look you've done. your going to die, here. oh edward, im sorry, i really am. if you're going to get here at any point, please make sure charlie is okay._ a tear rolled down my cheek. suddenly there was a weight on my bed.

"edward please, please. edward. edward i love you." i said so quietly. it was basically inaudible, but enough for what ever was now on my bed to hear. my heart was now thumping so hard in my chest i thought it was going to explode right out of me.i thought seeing as i was going to die, i might as well look at the face of the thing that was going to kill me, as a last act. i slowly pulled back the sheets from over my head, silently. as the edge of the sheets reached my eyes i peeked carefully over the top. for what i saw i breathed a sigh if relief.

"did i scare you" said a soft velvet voice. my heart continued to beat loudly and powerfuly, but not for the same reason as before. i wasnt scared, i was relieved, excited.

"understatement of the century" i replied, trying to sound angry, but failing. "whats with the creeping around? i thought i was about to die!"

"so you're about to die and your last words are edward i love you? thats a waste of a last breath if you ask me" he said. there was sadness in his voice. i knew he would never understand how much he meaned to me; that i would rather have died then see him come to any harm.after all, if anything happend to him, there was nothing left for me to live for.

"i said what needed to be said" i reached up and traced my fingers once again over the scratches down his face. they seemed to have faded. whether another special vampire gift was to be able to heal yourself quickly, i dont know.

"im sorry i scared you, i wanted to suprise you. bella, i love you. i dont know why you would think there was one in your room with you at night...or at any time of day to be honest."

"hmm well, i remember on one occasion there being a new born in here. cant quite remember when though" i was proud of myself for managing to say all of this in the sarcastic tone i meant it to be said in.

"That was my fault. Bella please forgive me for that" he sounded so sincere, like he believed i was mad at him for that. little did he know i could never be mad at him, not even in the slightest.

"Some times when im on my own and i think of me and you, i think whether it would have been for the best for you if i never came back after i left you last fall. Every day something bad seems to be happening to you involving my kind, and i dont know how much longer you can take it...how much longer i can take it. Bella i love you so much, but if anything ever happend to you i could never forgive myself." he didnt look at me at all whilst he said this, he just stared absent mindedly into the darkness shrouding my room. my mind went blank, and that feeling of a hole in my chest returned. before i even noticed, i was on floods of silent tears.

"No, dont do this again" i tugged myself closer to him and rested my head in his chest and attempted to make an iron grip around him.

"Bella, i cant..."

"Dont finish that sentence. i cant go through all that again. just go. let me close my eyes so i cant see my world falling apart, and just go" i pressed my eyes together tightly, trying to keep in my tears. i felt his hands grip around my face, and i was certain he was going to give me a kiss goodbye and then he would simply vanish again, and i would be alone again.

_stupid bella, you should have learnt. youre not good enough for him_

"bella please open your eyes"

i did as he commanded.

"bella im not leaving you. its impossible for me to leave you. you have a part of me, and you always will. i need you in my life. and even though its selfish of me, i know i would rather fight for your life every single day of eternity then have to spend a minute knowing you werent by my side. you see, your not just my girlfriend. your my soul mate. i love you bella, i always have done and i always will"

_how come he is always able to say these long speeches proclaiming his love for me, but i can get through a sentence of one iv prepared before i start bawling my eyes out. _

"am i meant to match that?" a tear rolled gently down my cheek and i knew everything was going to be okay.

"i dont expect anything of you" he pulled a piece of hair back from across my face and tucked it behind my ear. "i just want you. clumsy, forgetfull, predictable you." he smiled his crooked smile that reached right up to his eyes.

"i think i can just about manage that" i tried to say whilst yawning at the same time as i settled down on his chest for a couple more hours sleep. i was thankful it was a saturday now, we had the whole day together. i felt his body relax.

"good night my love" he whispered and kissed me on my head.

"nightt" i quietly replied.

barely 10 minutes later a noise stirred us both. i looked up, suddenly wide awake to meet his topaz eyes, glaring down at me. after a minute i broke the silence.

"must be charlie going to the bathroom and he walked into a cabinet" i said, trying to reassure us both. he didnt reply, just continued looking towards my door.

"no" he said, in no tone, no emotion. i settled for that i nestled down again. all of a sudden horrific happend.

"WHAT THE-AH!" charlie let out the largest shout iv ever heard in complaint. i tried to block out simple thoughts in my head that hes screaming at a spider on the wall. but as edward pulled me up into his arms, we both knew what was in my house again.


	3. Seeing The Expected

For the few seconds that he was holding me in his arms and sprinting out my room and down the corridor, he managed to speak to me…and I managed to hear him

For the few seconds that he was holding me in his arms and sprinting out my room and down the corridor, he managed to speak to me…and I managed to hear him.

"I'm sorry"

_Why the hell was he apologizing? What does he have in store to happen next?_

As we reached Charlie's room he set me down on my feet and reached out for the door handle. He opened the door and took a step inside. He must have heard me step as well. He simply turned round to look at me. I could tell he was trying to act brave, but I could see under his deep and seductive smoldering eyes that there was fear. I took another step towards him, and he slammed the door with him on the other side, leaving me alone in the now bleak corridor I had gotten used to over the years.

"NO!!" I roared. The noise came deep out of my chest and took the wind out of me. I wanted to be in there, I needed to be in there. Charlie is in danger because of my mess, and Edward is in danger because Charlie is in danger because of my mess. Then it hit me.

Charlie knows.

How can I explain to him about a blood thirsty killer vampire being in his room in the middle of the night?

How can I explain to him that I am in love with a blood thirsty killer vampire…only mines 'vegetarian'. I know it would kill him when he finds out iv been keeping this from him, but what more does he expect.

Why am I thinking about this now? The two men I love most in this world are fighting for me, and I'm worrying about petty things. No.

I banged on the door in a frenzy, trying with all my strength to get through it. Sadness was creeping into my being, but I knew I was no help to anyone if I was a crumpled heap on the floor. I had to be strong. For Edward.

But still I fell to the floor. But not in sadness. I was thinking.

I jumped up, full of energy and determination. Hands balled into fists. I started punching the door. I could hear my knuckles cracking. I'm not strong, but the love I felt for Edward…and of course Charlie was encouraging the power behind these punches. I became totally oblivious of the pain. I knew what was happening but the emotional pain was hurting me more now than the physical ever could. I could see my fingers distorted into weird and wonderful shapes as I continued pounding away at the solid wood door. It was only when I stopped for a split second that a wave of agony swept through me. I fell to against the banister, facing the door. I could hear movement in the room, and that was better than silence. Every now and then Edward would growl…in pain. But sickly, this comforted me. At least he was alive. Like before, as soon as I had stopped being distracted, the pain struck me again twice as hard as before. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I stared down at my hands. On my left hand it looked as though my thumb was broken, and all my fingers except my index. I looked over at my right hand. My legs now twisting and turning trying to run away from the pain. I couldn't move my wrist, guessing id broken that too. All my fingers and thumb were crumpled and tightly bounded in the flesh in my fingers. I rested my head against the floor. Tears stained the floorboards. Silence. There was nothing. No growling. No movement. No screams. Just nothing except the quiet whimpering escaping from my mouth.

"Oh god no. No. No No!" I managed to scream out between gasps before I snapped my head up to look at the door. Slowly, the door handle turned and I prepared myself to be re-united with Edward…in one way or another.

And I was.

He stood in the doorway, clutching Charlie in his arms like a baby. As he stepped forward the moonlight hit his face. He was as beautiful as ever. Even with blood down his cheek and rips in his shirt, he looked like an angel that had fallen from heaven into my dreams, and from my dreams had become a reality. A reality I wasn't used to yet.

He could already see me. He smiled half a smile and winked at me. I watched him place Charlie down on the floor next to me then I gave into my body. I felt myself falling backwards, and even though I was sitting down I was still expecting to smash my head into the floorboards. But of course not. I smashed my head into something much harder. Edward. He was already there catching me. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to soothe me. Enough was enough. Me getting put in the path of death I could handle, even if Edward cant. But no. Charlie has been hurt and there was no putting off the expected anymore.

Edward would change me into his kind.

If he likes it or not.

And he will do it tomorrow.


	4. Facts Of Life

"Charlie is absolutely fine"

"Charlie is absolutely fine"

I trusted Carlisle. I knew if it was bad, he would tell me straight. So if he said Charlie was fine, then I believe him.

"How bad were the injuries?" I found myself asking, even though I didn't really want an answer.

" Not too bad. A few cracked ribs. Broken arm. Dislocated shoulder and lots of bruising. But nothing that rest and time cant heal."

Ouch. He made it sound like not much at all. But to me that sounded like hell. I looked down at my hands-which had now been bandaged as well by Carlisle. I thought about how much pain I was in because of that. Then though what Charlie was going through. Feeling the pain, but also the confusion about what the thing doing this to him actually was. Tears filled my eyes and the room went blurry and began to shake. I felt terrible. I had inflicted this upon him. It was all my…

Sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind. Before I had time to finish the sentence he was standing in front of me with his arms wrapped tightly around his waist pulling me towards him. All I wanted right now was to be alone with him. But there was more I needed to ask Carlisle. I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss.

"Ill be one min-"

He stopped me again. His ice cold fingers began tracing lines around my lips, mesmerizing me. He had me stuck in the moment, and what ever had happened the night before became just a terrible night mare to me. If it weren't for Carlisle I would have forgotten all about the other things I wanted to ask him.

"Bella, honey. Is there anything else you wanted to know?" Carlisle said snapping his fingers. He knew what I was like, and he knew how easy I was hypnotized by Edward. I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to rid the smell of his breath so it wasn't lingering in my brain. But when I pulled my eyes open his face was barely a centimeter from mine. If I didn't stop him now, I never would.

"Just one minute?"

He groaned and gave up, slumping against the wall with his hands in his pockets. I shot him a teasing smile, hoping he'd notice. He did. Realizing I was quickly being dazzled again, I turned my body so I was facing Carlisle.

"Will he remember anything?" there was a hint of despair in my voice. Id much rather he didn't know and me be forced to make up a story about how he fell down the stairs and now suffers from amnesia. I hung to that hope whilst I watched Carlisle think.

"No"

_What!_

My thoughts escaped my lips.

"What!"

"Bella we don't know why, but humans don't remember vampire attacks-well not new born ones. We have seen many attacks happen, but there is never any recollection. It's a mystery to all of us, and probably always will be. But we don't want to tempt it or try and solve it, incase the miracle disappears and everyone remembers." He smiled

My smile beat his. I was beaming. Charlie wouldn't be disturbed by violent, realistic nightmares of vampires trying to kill him, he wouldn't worry about why his daughter had been lying to him, he wouldn't be in danger from the Volteri wanted to kill him for knowing their secret. Everything was back to normal, Charlie simply 'fell down the stairs'.

I ran over to Edward, automatically wrapping my arms around his neck. He tightly locked his arms around my waist and picked me up. I swung my legs round his waist to cling onto my angel. He rested his forehead against mine and stared deeply into my eyes. I did the same. Obviously his were more beautiful. They shone like a thousand stars, all sparking in the moonlight. His eyes were filled with memories, they were filled with every emotion he had ever endured. I loved his eyes. They had such a hold on me. Everyday they looked different (not because he was thirsty!). I could spend all day looking into his eyes, and I guess he felt the same way. Then we were interrupted.

"Ah-hum" Carlisle coughed in our direction, expecting us to put each other down and ask him something scientific. I looked quickly over towards him, then straight back at Edward. Edward was still looking at Carlisle, with an amused expression in his face. He chuckled under his breath and shifted my weight onto one hand.

"Bye Carlisle" he said in such a teased tone, waving with his free hand. He continued to carry me away with him as he walked away. As we got out of the door I shouted back.

"Bye Carlisle!" my voice sounded a lot more sincere than Edwards had. I reached out a free hand back through the door and proceeded to wave for as long as I could before the door was out of reach from my arm. I replaced my arm tightly around Edwards neck. He pulled me closer to him.

"So what's on the agenda tonight? Charlie is in good hands so we haven't got to worry about him." A smile breached my mouth and I bit my lip.

He looked away out of the corned of his eyes.

"hmmm" he said

He snapped his eyes back to meet my gaze, knocking the breath out of me just with one glance.

"I have a few things planned"

_Oh yay, my favorite. Surprises!! _

He could tell from my face what I was thinking.

But he didn't say anything. Just continued looking at me. It was only when I realized we had stopped moving that I turned my head to see we were at his door. I freed a hand a leaned down a bit to open the door. He always opens doors for me, so I thought I should return the favor. As my hand reached the cold door handle, something else cold hit me. Edwards's lips. The started at my ear, moving down my jaw line, down my neck to my shoulder. The door opened and I let out a gasp. He walked into the room, still keeping his lips moving along my jaw line. As we walked through the door, I reached my hand out once again and closed the door behind me. My breathing was becoming uneven, along with my heart beat and he could tell. But for once he didn't stop. He walked over to the bed and lye me down on it, with him resting on top of me. I cupped his face in my hand and brought it closer to my lips. He lifted me slightly, sliding one arm under my back and around my hips.

When his lips touched mine a slow of electricity flowed through my body, making me feel more alive than ever. He pulled my hips up to meet his. I struggled to breathe against his kiss; but id rather die in ecstasy than breathe right now. I loved him. More than he will ever know. His lips had urgency, like they had before. But he only kissed me like this when he was going to leave me for along amount of time, and I **knew **that wasn't on his mind in the least. Finally he broke away leaving me gasping for air. He relaxed his grip around my hips and let me fall to a quivering heap beneath him. But he didn't stop. He kissed across my shoulders, down my chest. Pausing. Tilting his head sideways and placing his ear to where my heart was and listening. He began to hum my lullaby and I felt complete. Pretty much the way I always felt around him.

Suddenly, without prompt, the image of the night before crashed through my mind, sending chills down my spine. And I remembered what I had promised my self. I placed my hands around Edwards and face and tried to pull him closer to mine. He played along, even though he knew I couldn't move him a millimeter on my own.

His lips were barely touching mine.

"Edward" I whispered, knowing I was about to end this perfect moment.

"yes"

"it ends tonight"

**Well guys hope you enjoyed that. Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. Iv been ill for the last week so haven't been thinking much about it :(. But I feel better so I took advantage of it. Its glances down at clock 02:31 in the morning. And iv been writing chapters 2 and 3 for the last two hours. Count yourselves honored :). Well I'm going to get some sleep. Ill update soon, probably tomorrow. Reviews are always welcomed XD**

**Megan x**


	5. Love On A New Level

"what

"what?"

He sounded confused, like he really had no idea what I was talking about. I found that hard to believe. I searched his eyes for any sign of comprehension, but found only confusion.

_Oh Bella, now look what you've done! Oh dear!!_

I knew there was no nice way of bringing it up. He said he had wanted to put off the action for as long as we could. And we have. It had to be now. I prepared myself to see the pain and torture that would be etched across his face as soon as I said anything about it. It must have been ages for me to calm myself down, because when I looked back at him he was smiling. He must've thought I was joking.

_Now you're torturing the poor boy. Yeah, GOOD ONE!_

Shut up brain.

I decided not to tip-toe around it, and just jump in head first. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst.

"I need to be transformed tonight. It's not safe anymore, for me or for Charlie, or for you by the looks of things" I ran my fingers across the cuts on his chest "If I'm changed I can look after myself and other people. And why are we putting it off anyway, its going to happen sooner or later. Might as well do it whilst my life's in danger." I began to hyperventilate. He was still positioned resting on top of me. I tried to take a deep breath to calm my thoughts. "And I know you don't want it. And I understand the seriousness of it. And I know its going to hurt. And…And…And"

His kiss stopped me.

_What the-_

Was he agreeing with me? This is strange. He's never given in. Well, that was easy. Maybe I can get what I want in the future now…even though I've got everything I ever wanted.

Of course it wasn't that easy.

_Well done Bella, you've managed to think seriously about something whilst your getting the best kiss of your life…_

SHUT UP!

By the time id realized he was still kissing me, he pulled back and laid his head over my heart. He looked up pleadingly. I knew his head was telling him to do one thing, and his heart was telling him to do the opposite.

"What about Charlie?"

"What about Charlie?" I replied using his exact same words, just a different tone.

"Well he is going to wake up and you're not going to be there"

"He'll be fine. I'm sure I can think up some reason to leave him." I knew this wasn't the case and I could see Charlie's face in my head as Carlisle told him me and Edward had left…him having to go home on his own and see my room, still containing all my belongings bar a few pairs of jeans and t shirts. My eyes swelled with tears. Thankfully Edward had turned his head back to my heart. I couldn't let him see me crying. He would use that as his excuse not to do it.

"Bella…when it happens, I want it to happen because you want it to. Not because it has to"

"Edward…I want it too"

That was the simplest answer I could give. He wasn't expecting it. He sat up next to me, and wrapped his arms round me and pulled me into his lap. I rested my head into his stone shoulder.

"Bella this is serious now. I know where you're coming from, and if I didn't love you so much I wouldn't be putting up as much of a fight. But its your soul. My family and I can get rid of the new borns. I don't want you to use this as an excuse. But I want you to be happy."

It would make me happy if I was a vampire. I'd feel like an official part of his family. I can stay with him for eternity. And when I looked in the mirror id feel good enough for him because I would have porcelain beauty to match his.

I didn't know what to say. So I nodded. Hoping he would feel it.

He did.

He sighed and shrunk down in the bed, still holding me.

"Is that a yes?" I asked…maybe with too much excitement in my voice. I looked up to his face and could see how much pain was pulled across. I knew this was hurting him more than he would tell me. I knew this was for the best. It will be so much easier.

His face twitched. If he had tears they would be staining the pillows by now. He pulled me closer to him, crushing my body against his.

As if he could actually breathe, he exhaled in defeat.

"Sadly"

He bent his head and kissed my fore head. He then turned his head to the side and stared at the door, whilst stroking my hair and humming the lullaby.

That was a cue for me to sleep. It was 11 in the morning and it seemed that whenever things had been difficult lately I had gone to sleep afterwards. Not this time.

His face was still crumpled in pain…maybe I had done the wrong thing? Even though h doesn't breathe like alive people do, he had gotten into the habit of inhaling and exhaling. Suddenly his breathing got irregular, like it does when you've been crying for hours. He thought I was asleep. I didn't like seeing him like this. It hurt me to know I was the cause of this. Maybe I should go to sleep. At least then I'm doing something he wants. But first I had to reassure him.

"I love you with all my heart"

For what seemed like years since the last time it had, a smile ran across his face, from eye to eye.

"Snap"

I'm in heaven.


	6. The End Of The Beginning

6: The End Of The Beginning

**6: The End Of The Beginning**

As I opened my eyes I could still see the sun, but only slightly. It was only then it hit me that that was the last time I would be asleep…of my own accord. During the transformation it was most likely id pass out due to the pain, id come to accept it.

I stretched the tiniest bit to then be pulled back to where I was lying.

"You're awake then?" it was good hearing his voice when I woke up. Made the day seem so much worth living for. He made my life so much more worth living for.

"No" I mumbled in a yawn whilst rolling over to face him. I felt exhausted.

He giggled under his breath, like always. Come to think of it, I've never heard him laugh properly, like in fits of hysterics. When you're a vampire does your sense of humor lower or something?

I looked up to see my favorite crooked smile draped across his face. There was no pain on it anymore; whether he had pushed it to the back of his mind or finally fully agreed with me I didn't know. But I felt happy about it.

He placed his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to meet his. He rested his cold lips onto mine. As an immediate reaction I rested my hand onto his face.

"So you are awake?" he said to my lips. I could feel and hear the grin on his mouth.

"hmff"

What a simple noise to make when you have nothing else to say. He kissed the corner of lips, up my jaw line to my ear.

"Do you know how radiant and beautiful you look in the morning?" his velvet voice always sent shivers down my spine…then back up again! He had the voice of angel. The body of an angel. Not to mention the personality to match it. How did I deserve this?

I wasn't about to start doubting it. I had him and he was mine. In every way possible.

I snuggled right into him. Still resting. He ran his fingers lightly down my arm, physically causing me to shiver. His kisses followed back down my jaw, down my neck and across my shoulders.

"This shouldn't be allowed first thing in the…….evening." I grumbled. He knew I was joking. Was it really the evening. Didn't matter to me anymore about times of day. I began to sit up. Of course he helped me. Around Edward I wasn't allowed to do anything because every step of the way my prince charming was there to do it for me. It made me feel wanted. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my into his lap.

"Ahh, that's better" he said playfully. I leaned my head back and giggled. For some strange reason I found myself nibbling on his ear lobe. I thought I was making an idiot of myself, but after I heard a purr-like growl escape his lips I knew he liked it.

"And this should be allowed this early in the evening?" he said. Not stopping me though. He tried to make it sound rhetorical, so I didn't have to answer.

"This is always allowed." My voice was barely a whisper.

He got the wrong meaning.

"Bella I want you to think about what you said last night. I mean think seriously. I know you say you understand what the consequences are, and I believe you" he took my hands.

"But I don't want it to happen, I'm afraid you'll regret it and see me as more of a monster because I let it happen. I know there's a higher chance that you'll be less prone to accidents because you'll be able to look after yourself." He was now staring me dead in the eyes and I could hear his voice become distant as I got hypnotized by his beauty. I shook my head to shake out the day dream, but my day dream was real and I was sitting on him.

He took in a deep breath.

"Mrs.Cullen is their no way I can convince you otherwise. Please?"

HE CALLED ME MRS.CULLEN! The petals of a blood red rose were scattered over my cheeks as I blushed at what he had said. I was now apart of him, I had his name. Now he needed to be apart of me, I needed his venom inside of me. He noticed my blushing. He ran the back of his hands over my cheeks, instantly cooling the burning flooding through them.

"Isabella Cullen, you are unbelievable. I am going to miss you blushing at the silliest of things." His voice sounded like melted heaven in my ears.

"Oh bite me." I didn't mean it in the literal sense…not right this moment. He glared down at me. I smiled back and laughed.

"That was not funny in the slightest." His voice sounded hard and firm. I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. I had already said it, so I might as well finish the joke and hope he was playing around with me.

"Yes..it...was..and..you..k-know..it." I couldn't stop laughing and had to try and say my sentence in one go, but ended up having to say it in between breaths.

As he smiled cheekily I knew he was only playing around before.

"Oh, so you think that's funny do you? Well that's see how you find this".

He began tickling me violently, but violently in a loving way (if that makes sense). I was actually in hysterics. And he was laughing properly for once. About bloody time too.

"EDWARD..PLEASE...I-I…CANT…B-BREATHE."

"No this is funny." He replied, grinning like a Cheshire cat. After he noticed that I was actually struggling to breathe through laughing so much, he stopped. He laid me back on the bed and using his fingertips he began drawing patters over my stomach.

So there's him trying to be romantic, and me laying there panting. Well this is attractive. As my breathing calmed, I looked towards him. Well I was actually trying to glare, but I think I failed. He was staring down at the patters he was drawing.

"You're breathing reminded me of our wedding night." As soon as he had said this, his eyes flicked up to meet me gaze. I felt embarrassed, but I shouldn't have.

So I giggled. Again.

"me too"

He let out a sigh.

"So we've decided that I'm going to be the monster to take your life and-". I cut him off there.

"Edward, you're not a monster. Not in the slightest. Not in my eye. You're helping me. I'm a liability and the moment and don't even think about denying it. And you're not taking my life, you are my life. So unless your planning on stealing yourself…" I trailed off. He found this funny.

"When?" he asked. His voice had anger in it. He really didn't want this to happen, but I knew that deep down inside he knew it was for the best. But would he ever admit to me that it was the right thing to do to suck my blood out of me leaving me with an un-beating heart?

Not in a million years.

Well I don't know. We might survive that long and he might tell me…

Oh shut up brain!

I thought for a second about all the things I needed to do before it could happen, and I realized there were none. Id said goodbye to Charlie and Renee. My things had been collected from Charlie's. I'd call Renee before it happened to tell her Charlie had been in an accident and the college had called and I had to go up their early, so she could look after him and nurse him better. Every thing was taken care of. He hated this. The fact there was nothing left that he could use as an excuse to post-pone it.

"Tonight."

He nodded in understanding before that crumpled expression returned to his face. He lay his head down on my chest to hear my heart beating for one of the last times.


	7. Day One In Hell

7:Day 1 in hell

**7:Day 1 in hell**

Edward took my hand as we walked down the stairs towards the main sitting room. I tried not to act nervous. I couldn't be nervous when this was my idea in the first place and I was basically forcing it upon him. But of course he could tell. Nothing is secret in this house. Even if I was an amazing liar, which I'm not, then Jasper would be able to feel my nervousness in the air and Edward would be able to read his mind and would see that I was nervous.

Every now and then he would squeeze my hand that little bit tighter to let me know everything was okay. Everything was okay, wasn't it? He seemed more nervous than I was. I gripped back harder trying to calm his nerves. I heard him chuckle.

Oh well.

The whole Cullen family were sitting in there cheering as they watched Emmet and Jasper have an arm wrestle. Carlisle was here. I walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head round to face me but his eyes were still pinned to the match.

"Erm Carlisle, who's looking after Charlie?" my voice sounded a little more worried than I wanted it to.

"He's gone home, Bella dear. Stop worrying.

A calm vibe swept over the room and I knew that even though jasper was pre-occupied, he was still trying to help me.

Alice could tell that even though my mood was calm, my face had been glued to its worried and panicked expression.

"I saw that you were going to call Renee and tell her you had to go to college early and all the details, so I called her for you. Charlie is at home and Billy is looking after him. Bella he is fine. Renee will be there in about 2 hours."

Phew, what a relief.

Now for the main reason we were here. Edward spoke up just as Jaspers hand was sent crashing through the coffee table.

"Woops" Emmet said trying to hide back his laughing. Edward did one of those attention seeking coughs that people do in the movies, but when you try it in real life not one person turns round. Trust it to work if he does it.

Instantaneously, every head in the room turned to face us standing hand in hand, ignoring the antique table standing on 2 and a half legs.

"Me and Bella have an announcement to make. When this was brought up before you all seemed to have encouraged it" a low growl echoed through his throat. "We talked a lot about it and we've reached a decision. Tonight is the night of Bella's transformation."

The room went silent for a moment. Then every one ran over to give us a group hug. Seeing as Edward was faster than the rest of them, as they were on their way over, taking them a whole half a second, he grabbed me and turned me to face him. By the time the whole family had reached us he had his arms wrapped round my waist. First of all I thought he had me facing him so my body would be crushed against his. We didn't need a coven of vampires to make that happen.

But I soon realized why. The hug was mainly centered around me, with Edward on the out-skirts. As they all grabbed hold and tightened their grips affectionately, I started to feel dizzy. They were squeezing the air out of me and preventing any from getting in. Edward saw this in my face, and he pushed his arms out, forcing the family a few un-noticeable centre-meters away from my body, giving me a chance to breathe. I looked up to him to whisper thank you, but before I had a chance to he beat me to it.

"Don't mention it love"

This felt good. I know I shouldn't be excited about this, but I so wanted to be apart of this family. From the day they met me they had treated me like a daughter, and I feel that if I am like their kind then it makes it that bit more…official.

They all let go eventually. After kisses on the cheeks the rest of the family left the sitting room. Carlisle and Emmet went into the kitchen together. Me and Edward both watched them all leave. As soon as they left we turned to each other at the same time.

He took in a gulp of air as if about to recite a limerick.

"If you're going to ask me if I'm sure about this happening then save your breath. I don't want you to worry."

He laughed at the saving your breath comment.

"Bella, I'm not worried at all." The laugh still clung to his voice slightly.

What he said worried me.

"W-whatt?" I managed to stumble a confused and astonished word out of my mouth. He raised his hand and cupped it round my face, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"As Alice was leaving she saw something. She saw you're whole transformation flash by, and all though you were in a lot of pain you got through it. She saw you're next few weeks as a new-born, and nothing bad happened. Hunny if you can make it through that much then you're going to do great."

I was so happy. The pain I was about to endure wasn't really bothering me too much, all though it would be bad I could handle it…I hoped. Alice's visions were mostly correct, and I had a lot of faith in her. My faith in Edward comforted me more. If he didn't believe Alice's vision he wouldn't have told me. He trusted me and I wasn't about to let him down.

I squealed in excitement and jumped in the air. As I did Edward tightened is arms and held me in the air, giving me a chance to wrap my legs around him. He supported my weight and begun to spin me around. His smile was beaming. I didn't think he would take it this well, but I knew he was thinking more about the aftermath of what was about to happen rather than what he had to do. As we slowed down he put me onto my feet and pulled me closer to him. He laid his head on my hair and inhaled deeply.

"I'm going to miss your smell so much."

"That's just the shampoo, ill still use it when I'm a vampire."

He giggled.

This was the sort of situation where you either laugh or cry. We had both chosen to laugh, trying to make every detail of the horrific incidents that were about to happen comical.

As our laughing faded I rested my lips on his and mumbled something hoping he would understand it. He just pulled me closer, crushing me against him – this time without the coven of vampires around us. He didn't understand what he said, so I said it to him simply.

"So where we doing this then?"

He took my hand and guided me back up the staircase. I wasn't paying attention to where we were going, just thinking this is the last time I would walk up these stairs with a beating heart, the last time I would walk down this corridor being human, the last time I would be in this house always doubting that one day Edward would leave me, but now knowing that once I was a vampire he would never leave my side. I was brought back to reality when we realized where we were.

"You're room?" I said in surprise. Why would he want it to happen I there? He would remember the bad memories, and not to mention there would be blood everywhere,

"No" his smooth velvet voice echoed through my ears. His sweet cool breath blew down my neck causing me to shiver. "Our room."

Our room. This was our room.

"But what about the mess?" he had hold of my wrists, I guess not as a sing of affection, but to feel my blood pulsing round my body for the last time.

"You think I care about the mess? Bella when you open your eyes in three days time, my face will be the first face you see, and I want our room to be the first place you come…alive in."

I knew what he meant. It was very sentimental to him, and I knew it meant a lot to him.

He couldn't hide the fear in his eyes. I knew what he was thinking. We were staring into each others eyes, as if to say goodbye because words couldn't say it for us. He was worried. He was worried that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from drinking all my blood.

He had such little faith in himself. I knew he would be able to stop, probably automatically.

He placed his hand on my cheek and pulled my face closer to him, causing me to go on tip-toe. I lost my balance and fell against his chest and he caught me in his arms. I blushed, knowing that was probably the last clumsy thing I would so, and the last time I would blush.

"I'm going to miss your blush. The way your cheeks change color is so sexy."

Maybe that wasn't the last time I would blush, this was.

"Bella you are unbelievable." He was laughing, before launching into a kiss. His hands gripped round my face as I pulled myself closer to his chest. His lips had urgency, but in a good way. I knew this was the last time we would have to be careful when kissing, and so did he. He knew I remembered the urgent kisses he had given me before, so I guess he thought if he did it this way again I was more likely to remember his goodbye.

He let go and leant his forehead against mine and let out a sigh.

"Just when it gets easier for me to touch you, to be near you, you decide it's the right time to change. Iv never been in more control of my thirst than I have in the last few months. I don't notice it anymore when I'm around you. I don't notice anything when I'm around you. Bella I love you."

A tear fell from my eye.

He was trying to talk me out of it. No way. This was going to happen now, even if it is selfish of me. At the point, Carlisle came up the stairs with a briefcase,

"It's time" he breathed in a sigh. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me into the comfortable surroundings of…our room.

He laid me down on the bed and I made myself comfortable. He fitted his body around mine and had one arm wrapped over my hips and the other one under my neck.

"Bella, I'm going to talk to you about what you will be experiencing first. If at any time you change your mind, just let mo know, okay?" Carlisle was trying his hardest to help me, but all I could hear was Edward whispering "I love you" in my ear and humming my lullaby. I caught a few words.

"..Flames"

"Burning pain"

"Will to die"

"Scratches"

"Coma state"

"Regular morphine injection"

That sounded enough for me to know. To be honest, if rather not know and just find out. Carlisle got out his morphine filled needle and placed it to my arm. As I flinched my head side ways so I couldn't see it, I heard Edward giggle.

"the girl who is afraid of a small needle, but not afraid from being married to a vampire or eternal damnation."

It was true, I didn't feel afraid.

Well maybe of the pain just a little bit, but I knew that it wouldn't be a breeze being turned into a blood thirsty, beautiful, immortal creature.

I felt a cold burst rush through my veins as I realized Carlisle had shot me with a whole dose of morphine. Within 30 seconds my body felt numb, like I wasn't in it any more. I wondered whether Edward had already bitten me and didn't stop, and I had died. But as I looked around and saw his face smiling at me I still wondered if I had died. He was always angelic, so this could be heaven. Where ever he was was heaven.

"okay, ill leave you too it. Bella, honey, try and stay calm. You are going to feel a lot of emotions, but you are strong, you can pull through this." Carlisle had a strong grip on my arm and shook me in reassurance. I was still alive. I watched him walk out the door and the room fell silent.

"Now" I managed to mumble through my numb lips. My body felt completely distant now, and I wondered whether this was the top point of the numbness.

"Love, this is the last chance you can turn back. I'm going to be honest with you; the next 3 days are going to be hell and you're going to want me to kill you. Just try and keep your mind off it. keep happy thoughts in your head, and think of bad ones" his face flinched in pain and I wondered why he had said this. It was only now I noticed how tight his arms were round my hips. "Think of bad memories, and think how in 3 days you will be able to stand up for yourself, not that I mind picking your fights for you. I will always be here for you. Every step of your life. No matter what happens with us, I will always be following 10 steps behind keeping you safe. You are such a big part in my life, 'I've been looking for something for my whole life time not knowing what it was. But then I saw you in biology, and I knew I couldn't be around you. I instantly cared about you, and I could never see you hurt" he stroked my cheek. I was to numb to blush. My breathing grew shallow as I got increasingly drowsy. "then I knew I loved you. And I would do anything to keep you smiling, regardless of how it makes me feel. If turning you into a monster, a beautiful monster that looks like it has fallen straight out of heaven into my heart is going to keep that breath taking smile on your face, then ill do anything for it. It will only hurt both of us for 3 days, then we have our whole existence for each other. For eternity Bella, until the end of the universe, I will always love you. I will never leave your side, I'm not able to. A little bit of me dies when I leave you for even an hour. You have me for as long as you want me, but my heart will always remain with me."

I could hear every word, and I wanted to say it all back to him, but I was unable to string together a sentence. I traced his every word into my memory so I would never them. My body felt like I was about to fall unconscious.

"Edward…I…L-love…You. Do it n-n-ow, please."

He breathed out a sigh of defeat. I knew he meant every word he had just said, but he was saying it as a final chance to change my mind. I felt a falling sensation, like I was falling in a grave. I felt Edwards cool lips kiss all over my face, down the right side of my neck, across my shoulders and up the left side of my neck. And then he stopped. He kept his cold lips on the same point, numbing them more than the rest of my body. He did something he had never done before. He licked my neck. Even though I was pretty much unconscious, my body shuddered under the amazing feeling he was able to cause me to have, even in the state I was in. he rested his lips back on my neck when I felt his lips pull back, resting his bare teeth on my neck. I wasn't afraid. Not at all. All the nervousness I had been feeling before had gone, and I was one hundred percent sure this was me talking and not the morphine. He scraped his teeth up and over the same spot, being careful not to pierce the skin. I was thinking how strong he was being. He had been doing this teasing process for both of us for nearly 10 minutes. I was so proud of him…even though he was about to break all his morals.

"Edward" I managed to open my eyes to look down to him. My eyes filled with love and admiration. He put his lips back over his teeth and kissed me neck before looking back at me. For the first time ever, his eyes were full of tears. I thought vampires couldn't cry. But my vampire was special, in so many more ways than one.

"Bella, please?" he was pleading now. More like begging. I felt so bad now, so selfish. But I kept telling myself it was for the best, it would be worth it in the end.

I shook my head. He was dragging this on so much. I wanted to get started. The faster it would start the faster it would end.

He sniffed.

"you don't know what you mean to me. Bella I love you more than you will ever know. More than I could ever show. Please remember that" he whispered before replacing his lips back onto my neck. It felt so numb now, I only knew he was still there was because I could smell his sweet breath moving over my uncovered neck. He uncovered his teeth again, again resting them onto the same spot. He still had one arm wrapped around my hips, and the other was under my neck holding my left hand tightly.

It was then I felt it. he punctured my skin and applied some light pressure…before clamping down completely. Instantaneously he removed his mouth, staring at the blood pumping out my neck. I could feel the wet sheets below my head, soaked in my blood. I let out a gasp, before looking up at him to see a single drop of blood on his lips and his eyes leaking tears. I managed to reach up my hand and wipe away the single spot of blood and his tears, before the pain struck. I slammed my eyes shut so he couldn't see the pain in them. My body went completely rigid. He pulled my hips back to his, trying to keep me in a straight position to stop me harming myself.

I screamed out in agony. It felt like a red hot poker the size of a base-ball bat being pushed through my pin-sized veins. As much as they had tried to describe it to me, it would never compare. I could feel nothing but the pain. My hips and my left hand were the only things that were less painful. They still hurt, and I would do anything for my life to be ended. But his cool touch cooled down the heat. I managed to work out that the only thing that didn't burn like the fire in hell was my brain. So I did as he had told me. I retreated into it trying to think of good times. It didn't completely distract me from the pain, but it helped my inner self and made me smile on the inside. Only for me to scream out in agony again. I managed to open my eyes the smallest amount to see him crying still, basically hyperventilating. I hated seeing him like this. Than another thing struck me. Why was he crying? He wasn't going through this! Why is he being so selfish. It was then I remembered what Carlisle had said:

"_You are going to feel a lot of emotions, but you are strong, you can pull through this."_

I wasn't really angry at Edward. It was just the only thing in my body that still seemed to work was now playing tricks on me. This wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. I wanted to end this. I whimpered in pain.

"Shhhh my angel. It is all okay. I'm here. Remember, think happy things. Trust me. I love you."

His voice sounded so distant, but I could feel his lips resting on my neck. Not touching the wound. I was still thinking of his strength. I was so vulnerable at the moment, yet he still didn't kill me. He must love me.

A sudden wave of pain shock though me. It was as if petrol had been poured on my body, then my clothes soaked in petrol as I was also forced to drink gallons of it. Then a match dropped on my body and my clothes whilst a match was forced down my throat. I was burning from the inside out, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop this. I cried out in agony, and I distantly heard Edward say something to me. he sounded so far away, yet I knew he was barely inches away from my ear. my brain concentrated the sound I had heard him say, and un-jumbled it to be

"Only 2 days left"

I had got through a day already. it had been 24 hours since he had bitten me, and I couldn't believe how much shorted it felt. As my muscles began to relax as a wave of relief rushed through me, the pain returned…more fierce than ever.


	8. Day Two In Hell

**8: Day 2 in hell**

I couldn't move, not at all. it felt like a boulder was being smashed up and down on my chest, forcing the air out of me. I tried desperately to gasp, to breathe, but every time I did it felt like I was pulling bits of my throat out with every breath. I decided not to breathe. My throat would still feel intact and it would kill me.

"Bella you have to breathe."

His voice sounded urgent. But it hurt so much. He didn't understand. Wait, yes he did. He has gone through this. My lungs were screaming out for oxygen, I wasn't going to deprive them of the last breath they need. I drew in a gulp of air. My throat felt like it had to been ripped out with a pick axe and then vinegar rubbed into all the cuts and wounds. it burnt. but it suddenly went cool.

Edward's hand was rubbing up and down my neck. he knew how I was feeling and I knew he was trying his best to relieve the pain I was going through. but it was impossible. I felt a sharp pain in my arm and I knew Carlisle had given me more morphine. As the pain slightly drifted away, I fell into a dreamless sleep. I went back to good memories.

**FLASHBACK**

I looked at myself in Alice's full length mirror with her standing behind me with her hands on my shoulder. The girl…women looking back at me couldn't be me. She looked so tidy, so perfect. She looked like some one who deserved to be with Edward.

"Bella you look……breath taking."

I couldn't breathe. Alice had picked out a wonderful dress. it was strap-less and went out slightly at the bottom. The train was very long. The top half had delicate floral designs embossed over it, whilst the bottom had many layers causing it to ruffle. I had never seen a dress more beautiful. I tried to string together a sentence, but I was speechless. I shook my head, trying to wake myself up from my dreamy state.

"You're going to mess your hair up!" Alice exclaimed whilst fiddling round with my hair again. She had it al hanging down long in barrel curls. a few strands had been pulled back gently and clipped into place with slides that had butterflies printed onto them.

My make up was simple. She had made my skin look darker using her Channel powder. My eye lashes were huge, but they looked classy. She had drawn eye liner onto my top eye lid, and they flicked out delicately and the end of my eye.

I finally looked worthy enough to stand next to Edward.

Alice grabbed my hand and started pulling me out of her room towards the wide French doors opening up into the courtyard that had been turned into the area for the wedding reception. As I stood on the patio and watched as Alice ran ahead of me down the steps to take her seat at the front of the crowd, I suddenly felt alone. It was weird seeing Edward standing so close to me, but acting like I didn't exist. Then I felt like I had company. Charlie.

"Bella, you look beautiful" he hushed to me. He must have known how nervous I was. I could see it. a tear escaped from his eye. I had never seen this side of Charlie; the emotional side.

"Dad don't you go all emotional on me, or else ill start and ruin my make up. Then you'd have to answer to Alice." I tried to use comedy to lighten the tension, but it didn't work.

"Bella I just wanted to say-"

The wedding song started. It was his lullaby. This was too perfect. I was expecting to wake up in a minute to find it was my second day only in forks, and that this all had just been a figment of my over active imagination.

As me and Charlie started down the aisle, I saw some familiar faces and some I didn't know.

They all flashed through my mind quickly, I had bigger things to worry about…like not falling over. Only when we were 3 quarters of the way down the aisle did Edward turn round. He was wearing a crisp black tux with a red rose in the pocket. His hair looked just as messy as always, I preferred it that way. As we reached him, I stared up and into his eyes, being mesmerized as normal. I didn't notice Charlie pulling on my arm.

"You enjoy yourself kiddo." He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "And you" gesturing a hand at Edward, "take care of my princess." Edward took his hand and shook it firmly.

"Charlie I wouldn't have it any other way." He turned to look at me. "You have my word."

Charlie walked to his seat that was put next to Alice. As Edward took my hand to turn me to the alter, he bent down and whispered

"You're breath taking."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

I was brought back into the real world with a lurch of my body. I could feel Edwards grip tighten around me. Not only was a boulder being smashed into my chest now, but it felt as if some evil presence had hold of my heart and was squeezing the blood out of it and poking white hot pins into it, as my heart still tried to continue to beat my blood and his venom around my shuddering body. I pleaded in my head for my heart to stop beating; that way the venom would stop swimming through my veins causing them to burn fiercely or I would just die. But then I heard his voice, and I thought I had died.

"Hold in their baby, only one more day."


	9. Trip Out Of Hell

**9: Trip out of hell**

**Hey guys, this chapter is kind of short. I had some really bad issues at home with my mum and things, so wasn't in the best mood. Have been a wreck actually and didn't really feel like writing, but didn't want to let you down. Probably could have done with a it more description, but it gets across the idea well enough.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. I got a nice surprise when I opened up my emails this morning to see I had, like 10 more reviews.**

**Just watched Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire…but only so I could think of Robert Pattinson and drool over him whilst going "Ahh Edward". Lol.**

**Hope you enjoy it.**

**Review ;)**

**Megan x**

"Hold in their baby, only one more day."

His words echoed through my head, and when ever the pain returned I hung onto the though that any second now the pain would stop and I would be free. I was more aware of my surroundings now. I could smell Edward strongly. I could feel when other people were in the room or near our room. I wondered if this was my gift.

I could hear him humming our lullaby, trying to comfort me. Or trying to comfort himself. I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around him and let him know it was all going to be okay.

The room suddenly felt weird, different to how it had a minute ago. The feelings inside of me shifted, like I was being subconsciously called to duty. the pain subsided, it was still there and it still hurt a lot, but I felt I finally had the strength to deal with it. Anxiety filled me, and the will to defend. I was also afraid of something, but I wanted to kill it.

A great wave of pain fell through me from my toes right up my body to my hair. It was only then I realized that Edwards arm was no longer around me. I felt alone, and as the pain burned strongly I rolled onto my back and let out an ear shuddering scream. my back arched and I made fists with my hands around the bed sheets.

I fell back flat. The pain had gone. I snapped open my eyes and took a deep breath expecting to see Edward lying over me, but he wasn't there.

As the last of "human Bella" drained out of my body, so did the fear and anxiety. The over whelming urge to defend took its place. I could feel that Edward was in the room, but there was no other Cullen in the house. But there was something else in the room.

As I sat upwards I could feel my inner strength building, but my outer body weakness growing. Inside I felt immense, but my new skin wasn't prepared for the strength my muscles had built up inside. When I opened my eyes I saw something I never thought id see.

Edward

New borns.

Before I could process the image properly, I had silently and swiftly jumped out of bed. Edward heard, but the new borns were too busy taunting him.

There were two, and they had him pinned against the wall. He turned his head towards me. His eyes filled with nothing but love. I knew if he could he would have already gotten rid of them. I instantly forgot all about the pain I had endured over the past three days and concentrated on what my eyes were showing me.

My love was here and was in danger, and Im going to save him.

In that second I noticed a ton of different things. I noticed how he was staring at me and there wasn't a tiny shred of fear in his eyes. Even though I never acted like I did, I could tell exactly what was going on in his mind just by his eyes. It was as if he hadn't noticed these two things taunting him and snapping at his neck. I admired him for this, it showed he cared…in a weird way. There was a mirror on the wall next to me, and I was tempted to look in it, but then I remembered what was going on around me. I think with my new vampire mind, a quick mind came as an extra package. I was able to come up with a game plan so fast, I hadn't even realized it was made up. As soon as my brain had stopped working out what was going to happen, it was my bodies turn to take action. I ran forwards into the new born that was now snapping inches away from Edwards throat. We smashed into each other and it sounded like an earth quake. He may be a strong new born, but I was a fresh strong new born, so I had the upper hand.

I'm sure the game plan that had been carefully thought up in my head was more intelligent than the one I was going to do now.

I wrestled the new born to the ground and managed to gather together its wrists and ankles. I could hear Edward growling behind me, and laughing. I knew he was "sorting out" the other one, but he was going to do it his way and no doubt this included some form of torment and torture.

As I gathered up the wiggling and squirming mess that was my new born, I held it up in the air and threw it out of the window with a smash. We were at least 4 floors up, and the Cullen house has high ceilings, so even if it didn't kill it, the fall would cause it some damage.

"Duck!"

I didn't have time to think. I ducked my head down just in time for another new born to go flying over my head barely missing me. It went out the window as well. I just turned to look at Edward and smiled. He did the same, but he held his arm out and gestured to me to come to him. I walked over to him, and as soon as I got into his arms I collapsed into them and let the weakness have a chance at surfacing.


	10. Relaxation

10

**10. Relaxation**

**I'm really sorry to some of the people that didn't like my last chapter, but as I said before, I was going through some tough times and didn't really want to write, but I did. So I'm sorry it didn't meet your high expectations. Really sorry, but it made me angry when I got a few reviews moaning about it. Not even about the content, but because its not long enough :S**

**Any way, I'm going to keep writing now. Have calmed down…a bit ¬,¬**

**:) I'm okay**

**This chapter is still kind of short, but its meant to be. It doesn't need to be any longer. **

**Megan x**

"You're beautiful. Not more than before though, not in my eyes." He stroked my cheek. We had pushed aside what had just happened and he wanted to rewind to as if I had just woken up. My body felt completely drained of energy and I just wanted to sleep in his arms, but we knew that would never happen.

I still had the over whelming urge to look in the mirror, but the fear of what I could find looking back at me pinned me in his lap.

"Are you okay?" I asked. I knew he was, but it was common courtesy to ask anyway. As I thought, he simply nodded.

"How did it-" he cut me off, as if he knew what was going through my mind.

"I was trapped. I was so concentrated on you. I knew you were going to be waking up soon, I wasn't focusing on anything else; just you and your beauty." He tucked a piece of hair that was draped across my face back behind my ear. "And when I turned around there was one standing there. I leapt up, guarding you…when I saw another one behind me. I did all I could, and im sorry I put your life in jeopardy."

I pressed my finger against his lips.

"No harm done." I smiled.

His smile was more beautiful than ever. I really could appreciate it in all its beauty now. His crooked smile was perfect. There is no way to describe it. Even though my heart was no longer beating, when he smiled I felt a flutter in my chest and I half expected the pain to return at that second. But, thankfully, it didn't.

He stood up, clutching me in his arms tightly. If he had done this a week ago I was certain it would have killed me, but now it made me felt safe and secure, like it should.

"You can put me down you know, I think I can walk." I said sarcastically. He placed me down on my feet, and typically as I took a step forwards I stumbled over the bed post. Edward caught me…like always. He held me close to him and kissed my cheek.

"Some things never change." He whispered into my ear. He still sent shivers down my spine with the slightest of touches. I smiled back, embarrassed. If I could blush im sure I would be by now.

At the back of my mind, something was tugging. The new born incident was evidently not a big deal. And it shouldn't have been. Neither of us had been hurt. But I couldn't put my finger on what was pulling at my brain.

And then it hit me.

"Erm Edward, how do I look?" I was unsure of how to react to the new me, and I didn't really want to look in the mirror. I was afraid of what might be facing back at me.

"Good question. Let me have a look." He took my hand and raised it high in the air and twirled me round, to get a full view on my new body. When I had done a full circle and was back facing him, I stared into his eyes for an answer.

He exhaled loudly.

"And…?" I asked impatiently. I was honestly asking for his opinion on how I looked, but I think he thought I was only looking for compliments.

"Bella…I…you're…"

I looked down at the ground. He didn't like it. He was ashamed of how I looked.

_Oh crap! Now what? So you're still not good enough to stand by his side! Bloody brilliant!_

He took my face in his hands.

"You're amazing. Nothings changed…to me. You always were amazing. You always were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

I couldn't decide whether he was lying to make me feel better or being truthful. He led me towards the full length mirror and stood behind me, resting his head on my shoulder with his arms wrapped securely around my waist as if I was about to leave him.

I don't know why, but I didn't want to look at myself. It was like being re-born. This was my re-birth. I was…I am going to be a completely new person, physically and emotionally. And although I thought I had prepared myself for it, I hadn't. Not fully. I don't think you can fully prepare yourself for something like this.

I had my eyes clamped shut. Something inside of me was curious to look at my reflection, but the fear outweighed the curiosity.

"Open your eyes." He whispered in my ear. His voice, like velvet was still irresistible. He ran his fingers down my cheek. His hands weren't cold anymore, they actually felt surprisingly warm to touch. I turned my head and kissed his fingers and his palm. I inhaled deeply to smell him. He was exquisite. Before he had smelt good, but now…well. It was a completely new level. I wasn't ready to rediscover myself, I was still discovering the rest of the world through my new senses.

He chuckled and took hold of my hands. Slowly I opened my eyes, one at a time. What I saw shocked me.

My expression must have been a picture. Edwards was standing behind me smiling at my reaction.

My hair was a darker and richer shade of brown, like melted chocolate. It was straight and hung straight down across my shoulders and reached down to the bottom of my back. I had a soft sweeping fringe across my eyes. My eyes were the same shape as before, but now they were more…perfected. The pupils were a deep black, somehow darker than before. Around my pupils was bright blood red, which subtly faded into crimson. It looked as though I was wearing a vivid pair of contacts. My nose was perfectly straight, there wasn't a fault in it. My lips as well were the same shape as before, they were now just more filled and plumper. My figure was still the same shape. But now it looked like it had been air brushed. It was the sort of figure you see on a magazine cover and you can tell it isn't natural. I couldn't believe this was me. I still looked like Bella, just an enhanced version.

I tried to speak, but no words came out.

"See, you're amazing." He reassured me.

I turned myself around and hung on around his neck.

"Thank you" I whispered. I owed him so much. Thanks to him and him alone we could now be together for ever, and I now felt worthy enough to hold his hand. Thanks to him I felt beautiful, I felt apart of something.

He hugged me closer to him and pressed his lips to mine. As soon as he did electricity flowed through me as I realized there was now no boundaries for us to have to be careful of. He moved his hands down around my hips and pulled me even closer, crushing me as close as possible next to him. I tangled my hands into his hair, keeping us attached. Our lips parted and we shared the most passionate kiss we had ever had.

This was what all that pain was worth. Him.


	11. Reunion

**11: Reunion**

As I looked at the new me in the mirror, I got an over whelming burning feeling down my throat. I will admit it, it scared me. I thought I was turning back into a human; it was the same sort of pain. I clutched my hand round my neck as I saw my eyes change a brighter shade of red. Now I was really scared. What was happening?

"Edward!" I shouted out in a panic. He returned from downstairs and came sprinting into the room. He still treated me like a piece of glass, even though now I was more like rock-hard diamond. He stood in the door way, simply looking at me for a second. He had a smile on his face, and thought I was calling him for a good reason.

The pain was now excruciating. My face flinched in agony and I fell against the wall, causing the room to shake.

"Bella what's wrong?" he said as he rushed by my side and took my face in his hands. His face was full of worry, and I could see in his eyes he thought he thought he had done something wrong during the transformation.

_Maybe I didn't put in enough venom? Maybe I took out too much blood. What have you done you monster!_

Now my throat was burning and my head was pounding. I tried to concentrate on what I had just heard, but I couldn't.

"My..throat" I managed to gasp.

His face relaxed. He rested his lips on the exact point where the pain was coming from and kissed across. Maybe it was just him, and the fact he could make me better no matter what state I was in, but the pain disappeared. He picked me up in his arms whilst still kissing my neck and sat on the bed, cradling me like a child. He moved his face up to meet mine, and the pain returned instantaneously. He held me tighter against him.

"Don't worry love, its just the thirst. For the first few days it will be bad. But when-"a smile lifted across his face "our family return home, which should be pretty soon, we will go hunting."

As soon as he said this the pain relaxed, like I did. The thought of hunting was repulsive in my mind. Why would I want to drink blood. Yuck! But the thirst in my throat felt otherwise.

I held his hand.

"Don't doubt yourself. You've done nothing wrong. You've done the right thing Edward."

His face was washed with confusion. What was with him?

"Bella, what are you talking about?" his voice sounded amused. I looked him in the eye. Is he tricking me?

_Did she hit her head on the wall?_

"No I didn't."

His figure went rigid.

"What did you just do?" he was now well and truly confused. I could see it.

"Erm, I answered you." Now was my turn to be confused. Why was he being all weird? "Are you sure **you **didn't hit your head?"

He chuckled.

"I think we may have just found your gift." He stroked my face with the back of his hand.

It was only then it hit me. I could hear his mind. WOW! It wonder if it was only his?

My face must have shown that I was thinking and how puzzled I was.

"Bella you can hear what ever I think in my mind. This will be interesting in the future. I may have to watch what I think about."

He winked at me, and my non-beating heart fluttered in my chest. He continued

"I've heard of this happening before, but never have I seen it happen first hand. When I bit you, somehow my powers entered you. This is weird…but I like it." he smiled his ever-famous crooked smile.

It went silent for a moment.

"Did you get that?" he questioned me. I looked up to him.

"Huh?"

_This is weird. They're working sometimes and not other times. I'll have Carlisle sort it out._

"Carlisle will not sort it out. I can sort it out myself." I felt a bit grumpy all of a sudden, I wasn't sure why.

"So you heard that then?" he said in a laugh. I nodded. I thought of everything strange and wonderful to test whether he could now hear my mind, but he didn't say anything so I took that as a no.

I thought about why it might not be working all the time, trying to think of a reasonable explanation for the occurrence. We had the time now, so there wasn't much point in not thinking about it now.

What had changed the times when I could hear him to the time it hadn't. I thought back…

I looked at him when I first heard his thoughts, then I looked away and he questioned whether I had heard him that time. I hadn't. As soon as I looked back at him I could hear them again. That's it!

"Edward, I know what it is!" I was so excited. I had solved the riddle; a short riddle, but I still had solved it.

He nodded, encouraging me to go on.

"I only heard what you were saying when I looked in your eyes."

"Oh, so you've got selective hearing?" he smiled. This was so cool.

"Well, guess you can say it that way."

**This is the first half of this chapter. Bit self conscious about my writing at the moment, so can you guys let me know whether it's worth me finishing. Contemplating cutting the story short and finishing it in this chapter, but ruins what I've got planned out in my head. Grrr. Thanks people.**

**Megan x**


	12. Second Half Of Reunion

**SECOND HALF OF LAST CHAPTER**

**Decided to finish it, not going to let you guys down :)**

**Megan x**

We continued looking into each other's eyes…until we were interrupted. There was a dull roar of engines outside.

"Time to meet the family" he smiled cheekily. I rolled my eyes. He made it sound like I had never met them before. Well technically I haven't, not in this new shiny form. He looked at me, trying to read my expression.

"Worried?" He sounded worried, in fact if I was supposed to be worried, than he was extremely worried.

"Not a bit" I smiled as a grabbed his hand and went for the door. Now I had the strength to pull him along and dragged him along behind as I yanked at his hand. As we got to the stairs he caught up.

"Someone's experimenting."

_Maybe we should race?_

"Deal!" I answered back to the thoughts as I let go of his hand and sprinted down the stairs. I could see his figure beside me as I ran full pelt down the stair case. Suddenly there was a roar and a crashing sound.

"Bella!" someone shouted.

It was only then I realized that I hadn't been looking where I was running. I ran straight into Emmet and we landed in a heap in the opposite corner of the room. I looked up from the twisted mangle of me and him to see Edward grinning and leaning against the banister in ease. In a flash I was up and standing with him.

"I won." I whispered from behind him. He turned around and held me in his arms.

"This is going to take some getting used to" he said, smiling down at me.

It was only then that we realized we had an audience.

"Bella" Carlisle shouted. I turned around to see him facing me with his arms open. I ran to him. He hugged me as hard she he could, and for the first time I didn't feel like I was having the life squeezed out of me. I hugged back harder, and he wheezed.

"Whoa, someone's got strong." He winked.

"It's great to see you" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms back around him.

"GROUP HUG!" I head Jasper shout from behind me. Before I knew it I had the whole family around me, and it felt good. I finally felt like I belonged, and that I wasn't an obstacle in the house anymore. They could all now comfortably be around me without the temptation to drain the life out of me. As the hug broke loose I was left standing in the middle of a circle with my family members staring intently at me. I looked at them one by one, confused.

_I wonder what the transformation was like for her? I hope it wasn't too bad…I'll talk it through with her_

I raised my eyebrows as I heard what Jasper was thinking. I moved round to Alice.

_Ugh! I have to get her a new outfit, maybe something shiny? She looks well…that's good. _

A smile played across my face, typical Alice. I moved round to Emmet.

_My sister! She made it through. I always knew she would, she's strong._

This was the best thought I'd heard so far. It made me feel warm inside. On to Carlisle.

_What's her gift? She must have discovered it by now…unless it's a subconscious one?_

Always like Carlisle, trying to figure something out. Esme was next.

_She's beautiful. I'm so proud of her. She'll be with us for a long time._

Like Emmet's comment, this made me smile as well. I could tell now that they were all getting pretty confused about why I was randomly smiling and expressing different emotions across my face. The one person I was a bit nervous of was standing next in line. Rosalie.

_Well, she looks better than I thought she would. She's actually really pretty. Damn!_

I wasn't going to take it badly, but it did hurt a bit. Half of it was a compliment, so I would take that half. I saw a swift movement. Edward had moved in line and I could faintly hear a growl between his lips as looked at Rosalie. I looked at him confused. He wanted me to read his mind.

_Ignore Rosalie, she's just jealous because she's not the most beautiful thing in the house anymore. The look's on their faces are great. I wish I could hear your reply to this in my head, but mystery is always good._

His eyes smoldered and I giggled.

I wanted to keep the family in suspense for longer, but the burning feeling was slowly starting to return in my throat, and I knew soon Edward would take me hunting. Even though it sounded weird in my head when I first thought of it, but all I wanted was blood. But I would break the suspense first.

I looked over to Edward.

_Go ahead._

He encouraged me, now I just had to think of a way to do it. It was only then I realized that id had barely been a few seconds since heard Rosalie's thoughts, but it felt like I had been standing here for hours.

"Carlisle, it's very much conscious. I know what I'm doing." I said with smugness in my voice. Suddenly I had all eyes looking at me, including Edwards but not for the same reason. I looked back over to him.

_That's my girl. _He winked at me.

"Rewind rewind" Emmet shouted, waving his arms around in the ear. "You can read minds too? This is cheating, now iv got 2 people invading my mind."

I couldn't help but laugh at Emmet's reaction; it was classic.

"Bella, would you like to explain?"

I nodded in response.

"Well, after the transformation, we had an…issue. but don't worry about that. I felt the thirst in my throat-seriously how do you put up with that? It's terrible! Anyway, and Edward didn't know that was why I was in pain, and he _thought _he had done something wrong during the transformation. And I answered him back. And we were like "whoa" and we figured out that I can hear peoples eyes…but only when I look in their eyes. . its pretty cool really, going to take some getting used to though."

As I looked around at everyone at the room I could see their faces were full of surprise. I giggled to myself. I was surprised they didn't ask more, it was just accepted.

After what seemed like hours of being stared at and me giggling, Edward broke the silence. He walked over to me and whispered in my ear.

"How about we get you something to eat then?"


	13. Feeding Time At The Zoo

**12. Feeding Time At The Zoo**

I nodded in anticipation. A bit of me was telling me that it was wrong to go hunting, but I wanted to feed so much. I thought the whole family would be coming, but it turned out it was just me and Edward.

I think id prefer it that way. It would save any embarrassment. I felt so disgusted in myself for what was about to happen. I helpless creature killed just to satisfy myself.

As we walked out of the door hand-in-hand, I think Edward could tell I was anxious.

"Don't worry love. It'll be okay." He squeezed my hand.

I took in his words, but I didn't accept them. What if it wasn't alright?

Only then did I realize that we were walking at a human pace down the driveway. I looked up to him in confusion.

_You need to get used to the smells of different bloods in different creatures around you. If we run they'll all hit you at more once and you're more likely to be out of control._

His eyes seemed pained at the last bit. I knew he wanted to think I was still controlled, but I knew as soon as temptation was in my path, I wouldn't know how to stop the drive building up inside of me to kill that temptation and drain its life…whether that be an animal or a human.

We walked in silence…sort of.

Every now and then I would look up to Edward to hear what he was thinking. I would nod at his thoughts and reply any way I could. Talking just didn't seem to fit in the current situation; it almost felt disrespectful.

I wasn't really pay attention to where we going. I was still letting him lead me around like he used to. I showed no objection before, so why should that change as well? When I looked away from his face to speculate my surroundings, I realized where we were.

The meadow.

I didn't want my memories of this place to be ruined. We had our first date here. That was one of the best days of my life. But I did have some bad memories of this place. I had returned here after Edward had left, hoping to find some reminder of him, but there was none. As I thought back to those times which seemed like years ago I felt the hole in my chest rip open the smallest bit. I think Edward knew I had memories here to, and it was most likely I would be thinking of them now. He dropped my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. His eyes looking directly ahead. I looked up at him.

_Never again Edward. She has had enough pain for her small life that was lived. What you did-_

It was then he looked down at me.

"Enjoying my mind?" he smiled

"It's not really any different to what you say. That surprises me."

He laughed quietly.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes, just admiring each other and our surroundings. Then suddenly Edward dropped his arm and ran forward into the centre of the meadow. I stood there as still as I could, wondering what he was doing. I tilted my head and looked at him.

_Come join me._

I hadn't got used to running at such high speeds as I was now. I didn't know how to stop properly. I ran across the meadow. Everything went flying past as a blur and the only thing that was clear in my head was Edward standing in front of me. I thought he had ran forward to meet me, but it was just me getting closer. It was then I realized I hadn't been shown how to stop. I had tried just not moving my legs and I seemed to just stumble. I was completely clueless, and as Edward got closer and closer I knew this was going to end in a laughs.

I went crashing into him and we ended up in a heap on the floor, much like me and Emmet had. Somehow he managed to re-arrange our positioning so that we were both lying on our sides facing each others.

"Woops" I said. I had nothing else to say apart from 'woops'. He laughed again.

"No harm down. When we get back home we'll show you how to control your running. How'd you feel?" I looked down at the grass and back up again. The pain in my throat was beginning to catch fire again, but emotionally I didn't feel much different. I thought I would be able to feel passion and love the way I did before, but now it was much the same, if anything just more intense.

"Great….but my throats burning a bit." That was the best answer I could come up with. It was honest, and I knew he would appreciate it. I was tempted to look into his mind to see what he was thinking, but I decided to give my new gift a rest for a while.

"Okay, well we'll get started in a minute, but there are some things I should explain first."

I nodded, encouraging him to go on. He took my hand and looked into my eyes. I couldn't hear what he was thinking. I don't know whether I can choose not to listen or whether I was too busy to worry about what he was thinking, but at that second in time I couldn't hear him.

"Bella you're going to feel terrible. I'm being honest with you. You're going to feel like a monster, and that you're selfish. But you have to think about it. A few animals death is a small price to pay for what you are doing in the world. If we didn't eat these few deer we have a week, then people would be dying instead. You have to see it from an optimistic point of view or else, excuse the pun, you're doomed. You have to keep a clear head. You're mind will kick in in an instant anyway into hunting mode, but don't let yourself feel bad about it. Okay?"

I understand exactly what he was saying and what he meant. I knew I probably would feel bad, but my thirst was growing and I didn't care about my stupid emotions anymore. All I could think about was having an animals blood trickling down my throat, warm and….

My stomach began to turn. There was nothing in it and it didn't work properly anymore but it still seemed put off by the thought of blood. This was wrong for my new nature, and I knew I had to kick the habit.

I couldn't let Edward know I felt sick at the thought of doing the thing I needed to do to survive.

"Sure. Should be interesting at least." I smiled a convincingly smile, and I knew he could instantly see though it. I also knew he wouldn't ask what was wrong again. Its nothing important anyway, just the last of my human nature remaining in me.

"Well then, lets go." He said as he stood up with me in his arms.

_Don't even think I'm letting you run again until you have your training. I don't want you destroying all the trees in the forest with your lack of brakes._

"Ha ha, very funny" I answered to his thoughts. He just smiled and ran into the shadows amongst the trees. I buried me head into his chest as an immediate instinct, even though there was no need for me to anymore. We slowly came to a stop in the middle of some densely packed trees. Edward put me on his feet and lent his back up against a tree and sighed. Something tore into my chest again. The way we were standing and the expression on both our faces was exactly the same. He looked troubled over what was getting to me, and I was just anticipating what was going to happen next.

I took a step back, trying to step away from the memory. Instantly his arms were around me.

"What is it?" he asked, whispering into my ear,

I kissed along his jaw line and down his neck whilst thinking about what to say.

Honesty is always the best policy.

"I'm sorry I have to bring it up…" his body straightened out. "But you asked so I'm going to be honest. Its just, just now, the way we were standing was the way we were standing last fall when we were in the woods by Charlie's house and…yeah. It just brought it all back, and had to step out of it."

It all fell quite for a second.

"Sorry love." He mumbled into my neck whilst planting kisses up it.

"Please don't be sorry. Its not your fault. Don't blame yourself for anything any more. All that was in another life."

It was. And he didn't like talking about it as much as I didn't. I knew he would always blame himself and I would always feel bad for giving him a reason to blame himself. But right now all that didn't matter.

He exhaled loudly as if to shrug off the small conversation.

"What can you smell?" he asked.

What can I smell? Apart from him, not a lot. I wasn't really paying attention.

"Not much." I answered. He laughed and turned my head to the side with the palm of his hand.

"Breathe in" he asked of me.

I did as he said, and I was hit by a scent unlike any other. Like the sweetest perfume ever, it was irresistible. Before I knew what I was doing I was scrambling around in Edwards arms. It took me a few seconds to calm myself down. A wave of shame washed quickly through me as I traced my eyes down to the ground.

"Don't be like that. Its completely natural." His voice made it all better. I looked back up to his face, his perfect face.

"Bella I'm going to let you go in a second. But I want you to stick on this scent okay. If you smell anything else and its not me or what you can smell at the moment, then don't go near it. Come back to me. You need to remember this. Its important. Don't let your thirst over power your morals. You are still in control." His voice was stern and strict. I didn't want to question why not to go near anything else…mainly because I knew the answer myself. I could smell a hiker in the woods and easily kill them in a few seconds, and I didn't want to be responsible for that, and neither did he.

"okay" I said. Almost inaudible. It was only then I noticed how tight his grip around me was. He slowly relaxed so he was just holding my hands.

"Are you okay doing this on your own? I can run along with you if you like. I just thought you might want to see what its like for yourself."

"Edward ill be fine. Stop worrying." I said with a laugh in my voice. He sighed and let go of me.

"Good luck. Enjoy yourself, but don't go over board." He gave me a kiss on the cheek then placed his hand in the small of my back and gave a slight nudge past his body to face the forest. I turned round to face him and he winked. It was then when I set off. I followed the scent he had shown me for what must have been miles into the forest. I logged t scent in my brain so I would recognize it in the future. I followed it until it got so strong it could have been right under my nose. This is where my survival instincts kicked in. I crouched down beside a tree and waited. When a saw a deer cross my gaze not 10 foot away, I leapt with out thinking. Within a second I was in a fight with the struggling creature. I wrapped my arms tightly around its neck and clamped my mouth around its throat. The burning feeling in my throat immediately eased and was replaced by a warm liquid oozing down and taking its place. I jumped up, throwing the life-less body to the ground. I felt in shock and I wanted to run away. But I wanted more. My head was so confused, but before I could decide what I was doing I had found the scent of another deer and was already tracking it.

I had killed 3 deer when I smelt something different. It wasn't a deer…or Edward.

_Go found out _I thought to my self.

Then I remembered what Edward had said. This was something new, and I'm not going to be putting anyone's life in risk.

Doesn't smell to delicious anyway. It smells like something I recognize. Something I don't want to kill for the blood, but to kill because my instincts are telling me too.

**13.Confused love**

I found myself running around randomly. I had blocked out any other smell apart from Edwards.

Finally I found it. I made my legs move faster. As soon as I saw him, panic had washed through my body for no reason.

Once again I sent myself crashing into him.

"Back so soon?" he asked.

"I smelt something different. You told me to come back if I did."

He looked around, and then his face froze. He put both his arms around me and pushed me behind him, still keeping his arms around me. I reached my hand out and turned his head to look at me. I connected with his eyes.

_Its Tanya. She's come looking for me. She wants to talk. Your not in any harm. Just stay where you are. _

His mind was telling me one thing, but his eyes were saying something completely different.

At that second she emerged from the line of tree's in front of us. She was just as Edward had described. She had vivid strawberry blonde hair and was amazingly beautiful. Even though I was now newly improved, I would have loved to look like her.

"Hello Tanya" Edward greeted her, polite as usual. He stood protective, towering over me and her.

"Hey Edward. Long time no see. Thought I would come and see you." Her voice was sweet and quite. She was too perfect, more than Rosalie. A wave of envy shot through me.

"That's no problem. How have things been?" he asked her.

"Pretty much the same. Nothings really changed with me you know." She took a step closer to him. More envy washed its way through my fragile feeling body.

"Is that true?" he asked, gripping my hands. She winked at him.

"So this is Bella?" she shot a glance at me. She looked at me as if I was something dirty Edward had scraped up off the floor. "Edward you know you've been the object of much discussion back home. A vampire and a human? What ever next! I guess anything's possible." She took another step closer whilst twirling the end of her hair.

"Yes Tanya, anything is possible." His body language had entirely changed. He looked defensive, but as if he was about to surrender. He sneakily turned his head the smallest amount so I could look into his eyes.

_Bella what ever happens in the next few minutes aren't true. Go along with it. _

I blinked hard, hoping he would take that as I sign I had understood.

_I'm sorry._

Sorry? For what?

"You know Edward. Me and you could have been something great." She took yet another step closer. She was only a meter away from us now. I felt so angry. All envy had gone. She was trying it on with MY Edward. How dare she. I looked over Edwards shoulder into her eyes.

_What an ugly piece of meat. What does he see in her? If that's what she looks like now I hate to think what she looked like before. _

That hurt. Even thought she meant nothing to me it still hurt. Edward turned his head again to see me looking at the ground. I looked up to catch his eyes on me.

_Don't listen to her. I love you. _

He dropped his arms from me completely and left me standing there alone. This time he took a step closer to her. They were now a foot apart.

"Is that true?" he asked her whilst tilting his head to the side. I didn't understand what was happening.

"Of course." She whispered. Edward nodded in acceptance.

"Edward, you're different from the rest. You always have been. Why cant we try? She asked. She sounded like she was pleading. I was getting ready to laugh at her as Edward told her what was what.

"I want to try" he answered back. What? What? Hang on…no! This cant be happening. I heard something snap behind me…only then to realize it was me as I fell backwards in shock. I had my eyes locked on Edward. He must have heard my reaction. He turned his head slightly, his eye brows creased in anger. He waved his arm at me in a go-away motion.

I could feel my eyes swelling with tears, only to find none there. I pinned myself back against a tree as I watched the horror fold out in front of me.

"Edward!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her round so he was facing me and she had her back to me. He had a huge smile across his face.

I felt that hole re-appear in my chest. Bigger than before and much deeper. I watched the smile disappear of his face as he ran his hand through her long silky hair. He sighed and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. And then he kissed her. HE kissed HER. Not the other way round. I actually felt like the air had been pushed out of me.

At the back of my mind something was nagging at me to be remembered, but I didn't listen to it.

I watched as their lips moved with each other. I watched as he snapped his eyes open to look at me whilst still kissing her. I looked away, only to find myself looking back at him again. By this time I was ready to run. I don't know were I would run too, but I couldn't stay here. I looked away behind me and then back to him. I could see a visible path I could follow to get away from this. Of all the bad things that had happened to me in the last few years, this was the worst nightmare of all. I looked back at him, the love of my life. Despair was washed all across my face. I looked at him for barely a second before I ran. I had time to hear one thought.

_Bella, don't!_

I ran. I kept turning around expecting me to see him chasing after me, but he never was. It was only when I had been running for at least 20 minutes at the fastest speed that I could that I decided to stop. Well actually I didn't decide. My body gave up. Like before, I fell in a heap on the floor. I began crying dry tears, and wanted to scream but didn't want him to hear and feel happy that he'd finally been able to upset me. Id hurt him too much and this was my karma.

And then there was movement.

I span my head. I was hoping to see Edward there. But he wasn't there. A deer had walked out of the bushes, and although my instinct was telling me to attack, I didn't have the motivation to. I hung my head and turned it back around. Only to see him. His face was barely inches away from mine.

"Bella…" he started. He sounded apologetic.

"You don't have to explain. I get it. You two have history. It's fine, I don't mind. As long as you are happy." My voice sounded as though I had been crying though of course I haven't,

He pressed his finger up to my lip.

"Bella, don't you remember what I told you?" his face was a mixture between anger and confusion. Mostly anger.

It was as if a light bulb had flicked on above my head.

"Bella what ever happens in the next few minutes aren't true. Go along with it." I mouthed.

"And you're a good actress" he laughed back,

"Shame I wasn't acting" I scowled at him. His face looked towards the ground. He looked up to meet my eyes.

_She didn't understand you're warning. She thought you meant it. You've hurt her…again._

"Bella, it wasn't true-"

"what do you mean it wasn't true? I just watched you kiss her! If there's something you're not telling me, just spit it out." I shouted at him.

"She made the new borns to kill you. Even though they didn't kill you…or anyone, I cant have that. I cant have anybody threatening you in the slightest" he brushed his hand across my cheek like he had done to her. I turned my head away causing his hand to fall. He exhaled loudly. He put his hands around my face to keep me looking at him. "Let me finish. She loved me. Remember I told you before about it? Well turns out things didn't change much. She would do anything to be with me. Even if that meant taking away my reason for existence. Her new borns are trained, but in a new way. Carlisle had mentioned to me decades ago that they can be trained, but what I heard in her mind was unique. She had trained her new borns to self destroy themselves if anything happened to her." He looked at me, trying to see if I had understood yet. I hadn't. "Bella, I had to kiss her. "

From my head to my toes grief washed through me. I wanted to shout and scream at him, but I loved him. How can I curse at him if he means so much to me still?

"okay" I replied. I dragged myself up and began to walk away. I was in shock for sure. What he had said still hadn't sunk in. I felt numb, but I knew that in the next hour the heart break would hit all over again.

Within a second he was behind me with his hands around my waist.

"I killed her." He said.

I froze where I was and turned around, my eyes full of questions.

"What's easier? Wiping out a whole army or just the leader who was the life line?" he said to me with a hint of sarcasm.

I felt so guilty.

"Edward I'm sorry." I whispered. I placed my hands around his face.

"Don't be silly. Its not your fault I didn't make it clear enough."

"There you go again blaming yourself" I laughed.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I'm never leaving you. Especially not for her. You believe me so easily when its something bad, but any good things I say you seem to doubt.

Don't doubt this. I love you. I need you. I don't want you to think like that again. If anything like that ever happens again, then love, understand it's for a reason. I'm not just going to go and kiss the ugliest thing iv ever seen before. Why would I want a dandelion when I have my own rose?"

And he kissed me.

And I knew that we were safe.

That he would protect me any way he could from anything and everything…no matter what it took.

He is my soul mate. My other half. My purpose for being on this earth. And I love him more than I could ever describe. If he had left me back then I would have died. He's my oxygen and without him I face a long existence of gasping for air but never getting enough of what I wanted. Of what I needed.

Edward Cullen.


	14. Confusing Love Reunited

**13.Confused love**

I found myself running around randomly. I had blocked out any other smell apart from Edwards.

Finally I found it. I made my legs move faster. As soon as I saw him, panic had washed through my body for no reason.

Once again I sent myself crashing into him.

"Back so soon?" he asked.

"I smelt something different. You told me to come back if I did."

He looked around, and then his face froze. He put both his arms around me and pushed me behind him, still keeping his arms around me. I reached my hand out and turned his head to look at me. I connected with his eyes.

_Its Tanya. She's come looking for me. She wants to talk. Your not in any harm. Just stay where you are. _

His mind was telling me one thing, but his eyes were saying something completely different.

At that second she emerged from the line of tree's in front of us. She was just as Edward had described. She had vivid strawberry blonde hair and was amazingly beautiful. Even though I was now newly improved, I would have loved to look like her.

"Hello Tanya" Edward greeted her, polite as usual. He stood protective, towering over me and her.

"Hey Edward. Long time no see. Thought I would come and see you." Her voice was sweet and quite. She was too perfect, more than Rosalie. A wave of envy shot through me.

"That's no problem. How have things been?" he asked her.

"Pretty much the same. Nothings really changed with me you know." She took a step closer to him. More envy washed its way through my fragile feeling body.

"Is that true?" he asked, gripping my hands. She winked at him.

"So this is Bella?" she shot a glance at me. She looked at me as if I was something dirty Edward had scraped up off the floor. "Edward you know you've been the object of much discussion back home. A vampire and a human? What ever next! I guess anything's possible." She took another step closer whilst twirling the end of her hair.

"Yes Tanya, anything is possible." His body language had entirely changed. He looked defensive, but as if he was about to surrender. He sneakily turned his head the smallest amount so I could look into his eyes.

_Bella what ever happens in the next few minutes aren't true. Go along with it. _

I blinked hard, hoping he would take that as I sign I had understood.

_I'm sorry._

Sorry? For what?

"You know Edward. Me and you could have been something great." She took yet another step closer. She was only a meter away from us now. I felt so angry. All envy had gone. She was trying it on with MY Edward. How dare she. I looked over Edwards shoulder into her eyes.

_What an ugly piece of meat. What does he see in her? If that's what she looks like now I hate to think what she looked like before. _

That hurt. Even thought she meant nothing to me it still hurt. Edward turned his head again to see me looking at the ground. I looked up to catch his eyes on me.

_Don't listen to her. I love you. _

He dropped his arms from me completely and left me standing there alone. This time he took a step closer to her. They were now a foot apart.

"Is that true?" he asked her whilst tilting his head to the side. I didn't understand what was happening.

"Of course." She whispered. Edward nodded in acceptance.

"Edward, you're different from the rest. You always have been. Why cant we try? She asked. She sounded like she was pleading. I was getting ready to laugh at her as Edward told her what was what.

"I want to try" he answered back. What? What? Hang on…no! This cant be happening. I heard something snap behind me…only then to realize it was me as I fell backwards in shock. I had my eyes locked on Edward. He must have heard my reaction. He turned his head slightly, his eye brows creased in anger. He waved his arm at me in a go-away motion.

I could feel my eyes swelling with tears, only to find none there. I pinned myself back against a tree as I watched the horror fold out in front of me.

"Edward!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her round so he was facing me and she had her back to me. He had a huge smile across his face.

I felt that hole re-appear in my chest. Bigger than before and much deeper. I watched the smile disappear of his face as he ran his hand through her long silky hair. He sighed and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. And then he kissed her. HE kissed HER. Not the other way round. I actually felt like the air had been pushed out of me.

At the back of my mind something was nagging at me to be remembered, but I didn't listen to it.

I watched as their lips moved with each other. I watched as he snapped his eyes open to look at me whilst still kissing her. I looked away, only to find myself looking back at him again. By this time I was ready to run. I don't know were I would run too, but I couldn't stay here. I looked away behind me and then back to him. I could see a visible path I could follow to get away from this. Of all the bad things that had happened to me in the last few years, this was the worst nightmare of all. I looked back at him, the love of my life. Despair was washed all across my face. I looked at him for barely a second before I ran. I had time to hear one thought.

_Bella, don't!_

I ran. I kept turning around expecting me to see him chasing after me, but he never was. It was only when I had been running for at least 20 minutes at the fastest speed that I could that I decided to stop. Well actually I didn't decide. My body gave up. Like before, I fell in a heap on the floor. I began crying dry tears, and wanted to scream 

but didn't want him to hear and feel happy that he'd finally been able to upset me. Id hurt him too much and this was my karma.

And then there was movement.

I span my head. I was hoping to see Edward there. But he wasn't there. A deer had walked out of the bushes, and although my instinct was telling me to attack, I didn't have the motivation to. I hung my head and turned it back around. Only to see him. His face was barely inches away from mine.

"Bella…" he started. He sounded apologetic.

"You don't have to explain. I get it. You two have history. It's fine, I don't mind. As long as you are happy." My voice sounded as though I had been crying though of course I haven't,

He pressed his finger up to my lip.

"Bella, don't you remember what I told you?" his face was a mixture between anger and confusion. Mostly anger.

It was as if a light bulb had flicked on above my head.

"Bella what ever happens in the next few minutes aren't true. Go along with it." I mouthed.

"And you're a good actress" he laughed back,

"Shame I wasn't acting" I scowled at him. His face looked towards the ground. He looked up to meet my eyes.

_She didn't understand you're warning. She thought you meant it. You've hurt her…again._

"Bella, it wasn't true-"

"what do you mean it wasn't true? I just watched you kiss her! If there's something you're not telling me, just spit it out." I shouted at him.

"She made the new borns to kill you. Even though they didn't kill you…or anyone, I cant have that. I cant have anybody threatening you in the slightest" he brushed his hand across my cheek like he had done to her. I turned my head away causing his hand to fall. He exhaled loudly. He put his hands around my face to keep me looking at him. "Let me finish. She loved me. Remember I told you before about it? Well turns out things didn't change much. She would do anything to be with me. Even if that meant taking away my reason for existence. Her new borns are trained, but in a new way. Carlisle had mentioned to me decades ago that they can be trained, but what I heard in her mind was unique. She had trained her new borns to self destroy themselves if anything happened to her." He looked at me, trying to see if I had understood yet. I hadn't. "Bella, I had to kiss her. "

From my head to my toes grief washed through me. I wanted to shout and scream at him, but I loved him. How can I curse at him if he means so much to me still?

"okay" I replied. I dragged myself up and began to walk away. I was in shock for sure. What he had said still hadn't sunk in. I felt numb, but I knew that in the next hour the heart break would hit all over again.

Within a second he was behind me with his hands around my waist.

"I killed her." He said.

I froze where I was and turned around, my eyes full of questions.

"What's easier? Wiping out a whole army or just the leader who was the life line?" he said to me with a hint of sarcasm.

I felt so guilty.

"Edward I'm sorry." I whispered. I placed my hands around his face.

"Don't be silly. Its not your fault I didn't make it clear enough."

"There you go again blaming yourself" I laughed.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I'm never leaving you. Especially not for her. You believe me so easily when its something bad, but any good things I say you seem to doubt.

Don't doubt this. I love you. I need you. I don't want you to think like that again. If anything like that ever happens again, then love, understand it's for a reason. I'm not just going to go and kiss the ugliest thing iv ever seen before. Why would I want a dandelion when I have my own rose?"

And he kissed me.

And I knew that we were safe.

That he would protect me any way he could from anything and everything…no matter what it took.

He is my soul mate. My other half. My purpose for being on this earth. And I love him more than I could ever describe. If he had left me back then I would have died. He's my oxygen and without him I face a long existence of gasping for air but never getting enough of what I wanted. Of what I needed.

Edward Cullen.


End file.
